Just tired of being fat

IMG_0312People with whom I share my weight loss journey normally ask me, “Why?”  It’s meant to be a why now, or what happened to make you decide to work on this.  I always give the same answer: “I just got tired of being fat.”

As the pounds disappear (fat literally breathes out of you; look it up), I am enjoying my ability to move easier– to pick things up easier, to fit easier into chairs, to crouch down in a squat to fix a rug corner– all simple things that are suddenly available to me in a smaller size.  Nearly every day there is an affirmation if you pay attention.

That my clothes are fitting better is fabulous. I now have an entire closet that is not out of reach. Even the larger clothes are just loose and baggy, but I can still wear them if I want to.  In other words, I’ve not seriously “undergrown” anything yet. I guess I’ve dropped from a 28 in pants to a 24 maybe?  Not sure.  I’m trying not to buy more large size clothes.

According to my scale, I’ve lost 38 pounds.  That might not be the same as the trainer’s scale or the doctor’s scale, but the weight loss is noticeable now.  People still aren’t saying much, but that’s okay.  My kids can see the difference.  Another 40 pounds, and it will be unmistakeable.  My goal is to get to 240, so I can mount and ride a regular-sized horse.  I don’t know how long that will take.  Maybe 6 months.  Who knows?

Segueing into something a little more uncomfortable, I was hospitalized last week to recover from some traumatic stress related to the work I do.  I’m feeling better now.  Normally, when you’re a patient in a behavioral health facility, the food is abundant and oftentimes great.  That was the case where I was at a prestigious center in Princeton, NJ.  I’m so thankful (today is Thanksgiving) I was able to resist eating a lot of foods high in sugar and/or carbs.  I actually lost a couple pounds in the hospital, and that is nearly unheard of.  So yay, self-discipline.

Here is a milestone photo to show my dear readers (all 3 of you) my progress.  The photo on the left was taken this summer with a friend who visited with me from Montreal while he was here on business.  The one on the right is one taken a few weeks ago.  I can see the difference, can’t you?  The good news is I look happy in both of them.



I’m really looking forward to making more progress.  As I’ve written before, the fat cells serve as a functional shield, yet they imprison me in a cage I’ve created to protect myself.  So, with vulnerability and a bit of courage, I’m continuing on my path.

Happy Thanksgiving. A holiday that would be better remembered for love, hugs, and family, rather than food. 

I’m especially thankful this holiday for this blog’s readers.  I think I have at least one on this blog.  Let me know if you’re here with a like or comment?






14 thoughts on “Just tired of being fat

  1. Change is…hard. It really is. I respect how difficult it is for you and how difficult it may be to write about it.

    “Courage is making the attempt.” Thank you for your courage. It’s inspiring, and I wish you well. 🙂

    p.s. FWIW, I’ve lost 25 pounds since college, so I can relate at least to some degree. More important than looking or feeling better though is the feeling of empowerment, of being in control of my own body and behaviors. I love that feeling. And while I lose it occasionally as I binge or don’t exercise (etc), it’s too good to ever lose entirely.

    1. Thanks John. <> #YessireeBob! My favorite change witticism comes courtesy of a retired cop. He said this at a conference I attended this summer: “Cops hate two things: change and the way things are.” Feel free to remix and reuse for the WoL crowd. 🙂

  2. I am proud of you for taking on the challenge. I have been stagnant for about a year. I still want another thirty or so. I started at 282, I want to be under 200.
    Keep posting, it motivates others.

    1. I’m trying to set realistic, short-term goals like the 🐎 one. I will keep blogging. It motivates me too. Still have to send you those photos. They’re around here somewhere!

  3. I admire your resolve and wish you lasting success. Thank you for sharing and motivating the rest of us to start something hard.

  4. I definetly see the change!!! Good for you Sue!!! My goal is to just feel better and healthier. As i approach my 59th year ( how did that happen!) I realize “as long as you have your health” is not just an old cliche! Love reading your blog. Something ive always wanted to do!!! ❤❤

  5. Congrats! You are doing great… hope to see you soon. I’m working to shed as well we can be cheerleaders for each other!

  6. I once read that the most exhausting thing to do is keep up appearances. While I’d happily read anything you write, a blog dedicated to breathing away the bits of you no longer needed is exactly the sort of inspiration I’ve been looking for. Thank you and congratulations on shedding everything that no longer suits you.

    1. A friend asked me today how many blogs I have. The answer is 8. And two that are hidden. I also told her that I’m basically just a writer. I fake everything else.

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