Tag: holidays

Just tired of being fat

IMG_0312People with whom I share my weight loss journey normally ask me, “Why?”  It’s meant to be a why now, or what happened to make you decide to work on this.  I always give the same answer: “I just got tired of being fat.”

As the pounds disappear (fat literally breathes out of you; look it up), I am enjoying my ability to move easier– to pick things up easier, to fit easier into chairs, to crouch down in a squat to fix a rug corner– all simple things that are suddenly available to me in a smaller size.  Nearly every day there is an affirmation if you pay attention.

That my clothes are fitting better is fabulous. I now have an entire closet that is not out of reach. Even the larger clothes are just loose and baggy, but I can still wear them if I want to.  In other words, I’ve not seriously “undergrown” anything yet. I guess I’ve dropped from a 28 in pants to a 24 maybe?  Not sure.  I’m trying not to buy more large size clothes.

According to my scale, I’ve lost 38 pounds.  That might not be the same as the trainer’s scale or the doctor’s scale, but the weight loss is noticeable now.  People still aren’t saying much, but that’s okay.  My kids can see the difference.  Another 40 pounds, and it will be unmistakeable.  My goal is to get to 240, so I can mount and ride a regular-sized horse.  I don’t know how long that will take.  Maybe 6 months.  Who knows?

Segueing into something a little more uncomfortable, I was hospitalized last week to recover from some traumatic stress related to the work I do.  I’m feeling better now.  Normally, when you’re a patient in a behavioral health facility, the food is abundant and oftentimes great.  That was the case where I was at a prestigious center in Princeton, NJ.  I’m so thankful (today is Thanksgiving) I was able to resist eating a lot of foods high in sugar and/or carbs.  I actually lost a couple pounds in the hospital, and that is nearly unheard of.  So yay, self-discipline.

Here is a milestone photo to show my dear readers (all 3 of you) my progress.  The photo on the left was taken this summer with a friend who visited with me from Montreal while he was here on business.  The one on the right is one taken a few weeks ago.  I can see the difference, can’t you?  The good news is I look happy in both of them.

 

 

I’m really looking forward to making more progress.  As I’ve written before, the fat cells serve as a functional shield, yet they imprison me in a cage I’ve created to protect myself.  So, with vulnerability and a bit of courage, I’m continuing on my path.

Happy Thanksgiving. A holiday that would be better remembered for love, hugs, and family, rather than food. 

I’m especially thankful this holiday for this blog’s readers.  I think I have at least one on this blog.  Let me know if you’re here with a like or comment?

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Heading into Holiday Hell

I survived Halloween.  I honestly believe this is the first Halloween in 40+ years I did not eat a single piece of Halloween candy.  It wasn’t too bad.  I just resisted.  Considering I mentally prepared I wouldn’t eat any (and not even cheat), I just didn’t.  My son still has a ton of candy left over which I simply choose to ignore.

Halloween is a big one.  I’m not one to binge on sweets, so Halloween is that rare holiday when I do eat candy ordinarily.  I’m proud of my accomplishment.

I’ve noticed I have been slipping here and there though.  Rationalizing some food choices that are not strictly SBD.  I haven’t gone overboard, but this is the first sign of trouble.  My weight has settled in at plateau (far from my goal).  I’m going to have to do one of two (or both) things to move beyond my current malaise.

  1. Go back to Phase 1, reacquaint myself with vegetables and refocus on my goal.
  2. Take exercise seriously.

I’m really concerned about Thanksgiving (oh, it’s just one day, eh?) and Christmas (I’ll start again January 1).  The next two months will be critical.  In the meantime, I’m still down 23 pounds.