Discipline and Creativity

I live across the street now from a well-stocked grocery store. I walk about 100 feet from my front door into this cornucopia of fresh produce. The best part about getting focused again on healthy eating is the “periphery” shopping. All the essential food is on the exterior of the supermarket. All the terrible stuff is in the aisles, so I don’t have to waste my time in those. I like buying fresh food too. I’ve mastered the discipline to only buy what I came to buy, and I have a list on my phone when I walk through the door. The fun part is the creativity that comes with putting together meals that fit within my boundaries (no carbs, no sugar) and that I know I can cook.

Technically, I live in a city here in South Dakota. The population of the city is about 29K which is the size of a small town in New Jersey. The whole state is the size of a small city, to be honest. But, I don’t talk much about that here. I’m happy to be here. It’s really not a bad place to live if you ignore the prevailing red state politics. I’m old enough that conservative ideology doesn’t impact me directly, and I don’t have any younger family here. That’s not to say I don’t work to help change the the culture here. But, it’s tough. I do my part.

I’ve lost a few pounds so far, but I’m losing faith in my scale. My water weight, for instance, is wildly irrational. It measured I gained 7 lbs in water weight in 2 days. Huh? The scale is expensive and it’s synced to my computer and iPhone, so I don’t want to buy another one yet. I’m just going to have to bear with it. I have a long way to go, so it doesn’t really matter what the scale says right now.

I have an interesting idea about a post I might do about the measurement I have for the fat percentage I’m carrying around. It literally measures out to be a normal-sized adult person. I will attempt to do that in a future post.

Blame it on the Pandemic

I was doing fine. Fine, fine, fine for a very long time. Until I wasn’t. Let’s blame it on lock-down and quarantine. I moved across the country in the spring of 2020 right as the pandemic was settling in to ground us all to a halt.

Look what happened:

To be fair, I wasn’t sitting at home eating ice cream and cake. I was eating pretty normally. But I did resume eating carbs, and there you have it. Simply adding a normal amount of carbs– NOT EVEN BREAD– to my regular diet, filled out all these fat cells lingering around in my body.

So frustrating.

So, here I am. Back on the Fatcinating blog. Back with my friends who will hopefully support me through another slog of getting this excess weight off. It’s not like I was down to my ideal weight anyway. But the extra weight is too much. It has to go. I’m not sure I can fit into the summer clothes I brought with me out here.

Ugh.

“I do not yield. Not one second to you. Not one second!”

Negative thoughts get in your head.  They eat away at your self-confidence.  I used to watch this phenomenon with interest as a cheerleader on the sidelines during football season.  I could tell when we were going to lose a game when the psychology of the team “turned.”  It was weird.  It was like an uncontrollable social contagion.  No matter how hard the coaches tried to pump up the star quarterback and all the athletes, if the team was spooked, the game was over. It was a sixth sense, and I could feel it every time.

So, when I saw that recent uptick on the scale, I was worried.  That’s why I blogged about it.  Thanks loyal readers for giving me some confidence.  I hunkered down this weekend and flushed out my system.  Drank a lot of water, swam, and I think I should be okay.

Here is some reverse psychology:

This morning, I happened to peruse my “Memories” tab on Facebook to see what I was doing last year.  I found this photo of me and my friend Jon: 

Of course, I had carefully cropped it so as to not post my gigantic self in the photo.  I’ve posted this photo before on this blog.

I think this dinner was the final straw, however, when I realized I had to do something about my weight.  That I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy the rest of my life that large. Again, I have to make the point that I am not shaming anyone who makes that choice for themselves, and who knows, maybe some day, I will be okay with it again. 

But, for now, I still want to do things that I can’t do as a large person. So, the trek to lose weight began last year at this time.

I decided to go to that same restaurant tonight.  I asked the waiter to take a photo of me. The photo’s not great, and you really can’t see much of a change in my weight, but I have lost over 50 pounds since that dinner last year.

So, in the words of Congresswoman Maxine Waters, (thank you ma’am), “I will not yield one second” to those negative thoughts.  I have made a lot of progress.

And I’m still in the game.

Update: Lost those 2.2 pounds plus .2 more this weekend.

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