I’ve been hitting a series of setbacks the past few weeks. First of all, for the very first time since I got serious about losing my weight, I gained. I’ve been on a slow, but steady progressive down slope for, literally, years. I started Feb. 13, 2021 and lost weight every week for nearly two and a half years.
When I decided to double down and join a gym to accelerate my weight loss… I GAINED WEIGHT.
I really didn’t change how I eat; and my trainer at the gym said it’s because I’m building muscle. But, seriously? Do you know how bad that makes me feel?
It was a horror. I don’t care about building muscle. I want to lose the extra pounds.
Something was just not right.
I decided to quit the gym for now. This wasn’t the only reason. The other reason is this gym is really not for obese people trying to lose weight. It’s for super fit people working at maintaining their super fitness.
I started evaluating my options. I even looked into Wegovy at a local clinic that has an obesity program. I’m still considering that, but I still want to see if there is a way I can do this naturally.
So, it sticks.
You understand, yes?
I also have been mindful of the intention I set for the beginning of 2023 to get back on a horse.
I found a local stable that has lessons. Here’s what I found on the stable’s website:
That weight– 150lbs– is not even my goal weight (It’s 177). I will never be 150 again in my life. What a disappointment! I remember doing the math on how much I would have to lose to safely get on a horse. I computed 240, not 150. So, another major setback. Or course, I could buy a horse, but I don’t want to do that. I may be able to find another stable with less restrictive rules, or bigger horses. I’d be lying, however, if I did not admit this has been a downer.
The last disappointment has been the dating scene. I’m not getting anywhere. I must still be unf..kable. I started thinking of a poem to address that sad fact. If I get around to writing it, I will post it here.
I will close this depressing post on a positive note. I found the shirt I wore in the photo where I was at my heaviest. It’s actually a cute shirt, and looks good now.
So, fuck everybody.