Tag: exercise

A Return to Me, Myself, and I

Please allow me to re-introduce myself. It’s been 34 long years since I was a “normal” BMI.

Today, my BMI is “Good” for the first time since 1992. It’s impossible to explain the difference this weight loss has made in my life. From my highest weight, I’ve lost 161lbs. More than half of my body weight.

Years ago, when I began my weight loss trek, I created a Pinterest board called, “50% off.” It was meant to be a joke, as it was so unrealistic that I could ever be thin again. I think I blogged about it on this blog too.

Today, I only shop in normal size boutiques and department stores. I dress a lot younger than my age because I feel due to all the circumstances that led to my weight gain, I was robbed of my adolescence and young adulthood. So, I’m in the 0Fs stage of my life where I DGAF if someone wants to judge me for my fashion choices.

The weight loss is the most visible marker of the transformation I’ve made over the past few years. I’ve changed from within too. I’m more aligned to what really matters to me, and how I am determined to expand and protect my life, enjoy my liberty, and continue my dogged pursuit of happiness.

As I shift from weight loss to health maintenance and performance, I intend to build the strongest, healthiest version of myself.

To all the brilliant STEM scientists who created and are continuing to perfect the GLP-1 drugs, I salute you.

Thank you, and I will see you on the Pickleball court.

Staying the Course

Decided to keep writing on this blog on the off chance someone stumbles on it, and it can help motivate them. This week I finally reached my 100lb loss goal. I created a promo card and shared it with my friends. The truth of the matter is continuing on a path to lose weight is a lonely journey. At least if you’re doing it yourself and not with a group or partner.

I still have about a long way to go to get to my goal, but this milestone is significant and wanted to celebrate that I’ve reached my interim goal.

I’ve been able to follow through on a number of my intentions. Starting with the ability to get back on a horse! That’s a significant one. A few weeks ago I went on a trail ride. I was super happy about that. I still need to lose about 30lbs before I’ll feel comfortable riding the way I used to, but the fact I was able to easily get on a horse and enjoy a trail ride through the Texas hill country was so satisfying. Hopefully, I’ll keep losing weight over the summer and maybe by late fall when the weather cools off a little, I’m going to look into leasing or buying a horse. At the very least, maybe taking lessons.

One of the best outcomes in the weight loss is the ability to buy clothes in somewhat normal sizes again. In my closet, I now have separate sections by size. I’ve been giving away my largest clothes sizes, planning to never need them again. I’m very close to being able to buy normal size clothes and have gone from a size 28 in pants to a 16. I’m still not thin by any means, but what a difference that makes. I also hired a trainer again. I work out with her every week. I’m feeling stronger and I’m hoping the workouts will deliver a lot of benefits in addition to accelerating the weight loss. At my age, it’s good to build muscle mass and get as fit as possible. It has mental health benefits, as well as physical.

And now that I feel like I can relatively participate in society as a relatively normal-sized person, I’ve taken up new interests. The most fulfilling one is I’ve begun writing songs, as I mentioned a few posts back. The songs help me process a lot of the pain and anguish that has surfaced on this blog over the years. One of my favorite new songs (a Country music song) is a song I wrote to myself. It’s called, “Hello You.” It’s a song that was derived from the sentiment in this post, “Thin is a Feminist Issue.” I wrote then how much I wanted my life back. Today, I’m pretty close to achieving that dream and this song captures that vibe. Below is the Spotify link, but you can hear it on your preferred streaming platform. (Just search this song and my name). I think this is the first time I’ve actually mentioned my real name on this blog, too.

Stay the course! You can do this.

Leveling Up

So, I’m maxing out on the Semaglutide at the 2.4mg dosage starting next week. I will stay at this level until I reach my goal weight. So far, I haven’t had serious side effects, so I’m optimistic I will actually get there. It will take a long time, and it is expensive as I pay out of pocket.

As of this date, I’ve lost 13.6lbs since I began in June. Again, not great results, but I’m not gaining and am steadily losing a few ounces every week. I made a promise to myself that when I reached the highest dosage, I would start exercising. That should help accelerate things somewhat. We’ll see. I have the holidays to get through and a family reunion right after New Year’s. When I return mid-January, I will get serious about making better progress.

I found a stable close to Austin that has a better weight requirement for my height, so I’ve made it my goal to reach that weight. The horsebackriding thing is really important to me. Since I’ve been writing this blog, my avatar has remained a thin woman bareback on a horse. I am fixated at getting to that place.

On other scores, I will say that I am feeling so much better about my life in general. I have a great job (even though it’s a contract position), and I enjoy it. I live in a great city. I feel super comfortable in my skin, saggy as it is. I toggle between buying new clothes in regular sizes and smaller plus sizes. I look much better than I have in 30 years though. I’m more flexible; I don’t get tired walking or climbing stairs; seatbelts fit on flights; and the best upside is when I go past a random mirror or window reflection, I’m surprised by my new size (in a positive way).

So much of my life is better today. I have no regrets putting the time, discipline, and now money into this trek. I’m hopeful for 2024. As always, thanks for reading, and I will see you on the other side.

Happy Holidays. 🎄🥂

Let’s all hope for a healthy, happy 2024.

Update: Down 85.4lbs from my high.

Semaglutide #Fail(ure)

So, I am really not making much progress on Semaglutide. Since I started in June, I’ve only lost 13lbs. That’s over 4 months. If I average it out, that’s 3.25lbs a month. Not great.

As I’ve said before, the shot absolutely works like magic in decreasing, if not eliminating, your appetite. The issue for me is I can’t really eat less than I normally do. That would be unhealthy. As it is, I’m eating very little every day. And I’ve mostly stayed true to my healthy, low-carb, no sugar regimen. Occasionally, I’ll do something dumb like eat normally, or eat popcorn at the movie theater. But the majority of my day-to-day eating is the same as it was over the past few years, only maybe a little bit less quantity. The medicine also makes you feel full quickly, so it’s uncomfortable to overeat.

I always knew this last part of my weight loss trek was going to be difficult, but I was hoping the Semaglutide would accelerate my progress. This week, I will increase my dosage again to 1.7mg. The highest you can go is 2.4mg. If I don’t see any progress at those higher dosages, then I will probably consider quitting. That option is still a few months out, so I’m not fixating on it right now.

In other news, while I’ve been disappointed in the pace of my weight loss, I computed how much weight I’ve lost from my high a few years ago. It turns out, I’ve lost 81lbs. In that context, it’s pretty amazing. I’ve reached a lot of my short-term goals. The best is being able to shop in “regular size” boutiques and department stores. I was saying recently to my longtime best friend that I don’t feel like I look terrible, even though I’m still technically obese and weigh as much as an NFL linebacker. When I pass a random mirror, I’m actually amazed at how much better I look. It used to be the exact opposite.

I’ve started to consider my long, long-term goal of being able to ride horses. A friend of mine from work has two horses she keeps at a stable about a half-hour from me. It’s a large stable with about 100 horses. They give lessons; they board; and they even lease horses. She told me I’m not too big to get on a horse now. That was very kind.

I do want to lose about 30lbs before I try that, but I’m starting to get motivated about the idea of finally getting on a horse. It’s “exercise” I long to do.

Here are some photos from the stable:

“Trackers are Winners”

That was one of the first things she said to me. Nikki, that is. She’s the woman I am going to hire as my trainer if a job I’m waiting on comes through.

I processed my last big question I was wrestling with in my last post for a week. ICYMI, here it is: “Am I sufficiently psychologically fit to be physically fit?” I came to the conclusion the answer was probably no, but I need to do it anyway.

Over the weekend, I decided to sign up for the pricey gym where I used to be a member here in Austin in 2011. The gym has gone through changes, but it’s still a beautiful facility. It’s even more beautiful, actually. Bonus: they’ve added a Pickleball program.

I asked around about trainers and was pointed to Nikki who would be the best in-house trainer who’d be able to understand what I’ve been going through and get me to where I want to be.

I spoke to Nikki for about an hour at the gym. I showed her my charts, read her my numbers, told her my story… She was empathetic and supportive. I was particularly happy with her, “Trackers are winners” comment, as I’m still obsessed with all my health data. It will be interesting to share this data with someone in a collaborative way to make adjustments to my progress.

The investment in the gym and Nikki will be trés cher. I’ve rationalized the expense by recalling what my South Dakota wellness coach asked me, “What would your life be like if you reached your weight goal?” Again, it hit me like a ton of bricks that EVERYTHING in my life would be better. When someone shows you a crystal ball sneak preview of your potentially amazing life… it’s not something you can ignore or dismiss.

How much would you pay to radically improve your life? I’ll bet the answer is a lot.

I should hear about the new job in the next few weeks. In the meantime, I have made the commitment to go to the gym every week. I will keep you posted, as usual.

Incidentally, I did the math. If I lose 2lbs* a week, I could get to my goal in 7.7 months. That puts me at the end of 2023.

*When I began seriously changing the way I eat, I averaged about 1lb loss a week. But, during that year, I did not have a trainer or a rigorous exercise program. So, this number may be too optimistic, but it can suffice as a goal for now.

The Final Countdown

The perfect opener for this post is this over-the-top video of the song by Swedish band Europe with its big hair, 80s metal vibe.

As you know, I’ve written on this blog about how losing weight has a lot more to do with psychology than biology. I have been writing this blog for almost FIFTEEN years. So, 15 years a slave to obesity.

Obviously, I’ve made more progress than ever in the past few years, and I’m proud of that. But, the truth is, I have a psychological block about reaching that final destination. I’m exploring that out loud here on this page.

Why?

Well, let’s start with today in 2023: I’ve started dating again. I don’t look so terrible that I would be embarrassed to show up on a blind date. (I’m using a dating app, and that’s essentially what they are, blind dates where you have an inkling of who the other person is, but not much more than that.) Yet, I know I’m still too overweight to be attractive to the opposite sex. Or, at least attractive enough to the type of guy my 20-year old self would be attracted to at my age.

It’s complicated. On the one hand, maybe I should lower my standards and embrace where I fit in on the dating totem pole at this stage in my life. But, on the other hand, I could make the commitment, buckle down, and reach my goal weight. Be thin again. Be attractive again (even at this age).

Option number 2 opens up a Pandora’s box. It literally leaves me vulnerable to getting seriously hurt or further damaged. Option number 1 is pretty much unrealistic, as this is not how I’m wired.

So, I’m at an impasse– stuck in a sandtrap in my mind.

If I lean into option #2, I have already done the research on how to do it. The gym that I love, where I was a member before here in Austin, has everything I need to progress toward my goal. I would hire a trainer and launch, “The Final Countdown.” I’d have to get more diligent cutting back on carbs/sugar and reducing my alcohol intake. All of it would be difficult, expensive, and time-consuming. In many ways, it would be like starting from the beginning because this last leg of the journey would be the most demanding.

Am I sufficiently psychologically fit to be physically fit?

That is what I’m asking myself.

New Year’s Intentions for 2023

Well? This new year, 2023, is going to bring a lot of change into my life. I’m leaving South Dakota in 10 days and heading back to where this blog began: Austin, TX.

I was looking at some of my first posts on this blog, and I had tried a number of ways to lose weight. One of my favorite posts on this blog is from December 2011. “Getting back on the horse.” I made a simple list of the reasons why I wanted to lose weight. At the top of the list is a desire to ride horses.

I still have that goal. I’m finally at a weight where it’s safe (for the horse) to get in the saddle.

The Texas hill country is beautiful. And the weather can present a pleasant trail riding experience.

So, my goal for 2023 is to get in that saddle. When I do, I will post photos.

New Job

I started a new job that is taking me to Austin. I found a place close to the gym that I love. I’m hoping to go to the gym on the days I work from home: Tuesday, Friday and then on the weekends. If the traffic’s not too bad, I’ll try to get there during the week too.

In general Austin is an active town. I’m looking forward to making progress with my weight loss there.

Have a great end to your 2022, and I will see you next year!

Thanks for continuing with me on my journey.

Lumpty Dumpty

I was at the gym today doing my free weight reps looking in the mirror. My body is a big pear shape, like the biggest pear that ever was.

I found this photo yesterday of my lithe, 19-year old body. I still have the same frame, and those bones still weigh about 6lbs.

But my 60-ish-year-old body looks nothing like this. It’s as if someone filled my skin with gallons of lumpy mashed potatoes. Especially hanging off my arms and around my hips. Yuk.

Looking in the gym mirror, I appreciate the fact that I have lost weight, but am simultaneously horrified by my new saggy skin suit. I know I have to keep working at it, but the realization that I will never look like this again is de-motivating to say the least.

I told you last post that I was going to go to the gym every day last week. I made it a few days, but couldn’t go every day for various reasons that were valid reasons.

I was disappointed, however, that when I weighed myself… NADA. Nothing actually changed again. I’m starting to wonder if my scale is not working. That must be it!

Oh well. Just wanted to share some of my progress.

I’m still moving forward.
Namaste.

Holding Pattern

“Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve just been informed by the tower that we are to maintain a holding pattern. We ask that you remain in your seats, and we will keep you posted as conditions improve. We thank you for your patience.”

So, not much has changed since my last post. My weight has essentially stayed the same for another month. I’m super frustrated with this. It’s like I’m suspended in the air in a holding pattern. Worse, it’s July now. I’m starting to get concerned I may not reach my New Year’s Intentions goal (to get out of “fat sizes”). 

The only upside here is I am still at the lowest weight I’ve been at since I began this blog in 2008. If you consider my highest weight in years past, I’m down 67 lbs overall. That seems like a big deal, and I should be more pleased with myself as a result. Also, I have noticed that I fit into much smaller sizes than I have previously. So, I am making progress on the clothes size front. And, of course, I am not gaining weight. I haven’t given up. 

What I’ve decided to do to break through this plateau is double down and go to the gym every day this week. Literally just force myself to go. It has to make a difference, right? Also, I’m going to change up what I normally eat for dinner and make some new recipes that are still low-carb. I think if I make a change to my food intake, that could break the spell I’ve been under. 

I have a couple of art shows coming up where I am the featured artist. (That still amazes me.) I am planning to wear dresses at these events. That is an unusual step for me. I haven’t worn a dress in many, many moons. But, I feel like it’s the right artist vibe. 

I will leave you with one of my photos that I will be exhibiting. And, I’ll let you know how the doubling-down with the gym goes. 

Namaste. 

Oh Bloody Hell!

Past three months: ~FLATLINE!

I know I’ve said in the past that this is a long trek. BUT, I’ve been frustrated lately that I’m really not making the progress I want to make. I have so long to go… like 73lbs… before I get to where I want to be.

I feel like I’ve just stalled. I’m plateauing and stagnating.

I have not been “cheating” a.k.a. eating things I shouldn’t. But, I’m realizing something has to kick in to put me on a better trajectory. I’m thinking it is exercise. There’s only one problem with that: I HATE EXERCISE. There I said it. I’m basically lazy. I don’t want to work out like a maniac at the gym. I want the weight to magically come off without a lot of effort.

It does not appear that my plan is working. (Being lazy and not exercising.)

I’m not sure what to do to.

Dear readers, if you have some good advice, I could use it.

xoxo