It’s time to pick up posting on this blog again. As you should have expected, I stopped dieting as I headed into the holidays. The weight just wasn’t coming off fast enough, and I never could get up the motivation or energy to exercise.
It’s an insidious cycle. I’ve gained back all the weight I lost and more. The problem is… the BIG problem is… everything in my life would be different if I weren’t carrying this weight. I know I have to commit to this to have a normal, happy life, and I have not been able to do that.
Is it purely psychological? Should I do something drastic like bariatric surgery? (too expensive) or hypnotism? (too weird). Lately, I’ve been asking the kids to take candid video and photos of me, so I know what I look like. My self-image still doesn’t register with my actual image. I can’t “see” how bad I look from the vantage point of my own eyes.
I’m going to look at an elliptical today. I need to do this, or I’m afraid I may die of self-loathing.