Thought it was time to update this blog. I stopped working with Clara around Christmas time. I stopped for a few reasons. A number of events have triggered a change in my philosophy about myself and my self-image. Most recently, I was inspired by the Kevin Smith controversy. Along with some other serious events taking place in my personal life, I realized it’s time to stop trying to be thin in order to conform to someone else’s ideal of perfection. There are some things I miss about being thin and most of them are vanity related. For instance, the clothing choices for fat people are abysmal. I miss not being judged (negatively) and discriminated against purely because of my appearance. Of course, when I was thin and beautiful, I was judged positively when I so clearly did not deserve any special treatment. I also received prejudicial preferences solely due to my looks. Being honest, that I do miss, but I know now it’s wrong.
Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs points to the ultimate state of being as “self-actualization.” When I think about where I am at this stage in my life, the criteria that comprise self-actualization pretty much define me. Why am I trying to make myself something I’m not? When I see photos of myself around the web, I’m usually laughing or otherwise enjoying myself.
If society is hell bent on rejecting my looks, then so be it. I have come to a place where I’m accepting the fact I’ll never be thin again. That the new normal is fat for me, and it’s really not terrible. I may stop writing in this blog. Or, I may throw in with the fat acceptance bloggers. Haven’t made up my mind. All I know for today is it’s a beautiful day in Austin, and I’m getting outside.
2 thoughts on “Last stop? Self-Actualization”
As you know we have the same genes. I also am on the fat or heavy side. I do not let it get in my way (except, perhaps, when lacing up my work boots). I did the one thing I could control that would extend my life. I quit smoking in 2006. I am happy with myself, I am quick to laugh, I have good friends and a great family.
I live to my own standard and that standard includes ice cream. Ice cream is my last indulgence. I try to limit my intake of sugar, not for the belly’s sake but to avoid diabetes. My diet also contains very little processed foods and plenty of raw vegetables.
Yes, I am prone to fat, but I would much rather be full of happiness and joy at 250 than miserable at 170.
I understand. You are not “giving up”. You are deciding to live by a standard that is set by you rather than Madison Avenue.
Good for you… Don’t forget to laugh out loud at least once a day. That will keep you healthier than a micro meal & workout.
I found you through a retweet of your No-asshole rule from @ceciiil through Sherry Lowry on Facebook and I clicked through that blog to here. Whew, now that’s out of the way:
I am a happy, healthy, obese professional dancer and dance instructor here in Austin. I just wanted to let you know (and you may be aware of this this already….) that there is an incredible size positive community in Austin.
If there is anything that I can do to help you with your journey, please let me know, I am happy to help connect you to any resources that I can.
If you want to make sure that I’m a real person, you are welcome to check out my dance non-profit at http://www.bodypositivedance.org and my personal blog at http://www.danceswithfat.org. You might also enjoy http://www.fatshionista.com in your quest to find fabulous clothes that work for you.