Fat spots be gone!

How many tops do I own  like this?   Why is it that fat people drop more food than the average (size) person? And how  many pounds will I have to lose before I stop gooping on my clothes?   What the heck is that all about, anyway?  Is it because we have a shelf between our mouths and the table?  Can normal-sized people eat over their plates more properly?  A big, fat mystery.

This top is a Ralph Lauren shirt I bought from Macy’s.  It probably cost over $40 or so.  I can only wear it around the house now.

Top (lame) excuses not to go to the gym

  • 1.  I’m too fat. (ugh)
  • 2.  I didn’t shave my legs.
  • 3.  My ipod earphones don’t fit.
  • 4.  I can’t find my exercise bra.
  • 5.  I won’t know how to work the new treadmills at the new gym.
  • 6.  I can’t go back to the old gym because my account is screwed up.  (And I don’t want to pay the balance).
  • 7.  I can just walk around the neighborhood.  (Of course, I don’t)
  • 9.  I can walk at the nearby park.  (Of course, I don’t)
  • 10.  I’ll start exercising in Phase 2.

So, I did not make it to the gym this weekend.  (Yeah, really.)  I did set up a social network though, posted about my commitment to lose weight on my personal blog, and tweeted about it all.

My weight stayed the same today.  I knew I shouldn’t have weighed myself this morning.

Day 10

So far, so good. My daughter and I went out to dinner tonight at the local Red Lobster. I was able to order grilled salmon, asparagus, and broccoli. It was great! It’s really easy for me (so far) to continue with this diet. I’m enjoying cooking too.

I haven’t weighed myself for the past few days, but I intend to tomorrow. I also haven’t started working out, and I’m starting to feel badly about that. I just don’t want to face that gym humiliation. It’s different in the town where I live now because EVERYONE is fit. At my old gym, there were many people like me in the gym. I’m certain I won’t find that here. It’s an excuse though, nonetheless. I need to go.

This weekend.

Day Seven

My first week is coming to an end.  I feel good.  I figured out I lost 11 pounds in 6 days.  I didn’t weight myself today.  I will tomorrow though.  Tonight I’m searching online for shrimp recipes.  I’m half-way done with pastaqueen’s book.  It’s really encouraging.  So many crucial observations she makes I relate to wholly.  She’s a clever writer too, which makes it even more compelling.

The gap in my plan is I haven’t started exercising yet.  I really need to.  I’m just avoiding it for some reason.  Not sure why.  I know I won’t get to where I need to be without just starting to move.  The good news is I am highly motivated right now.  I want to do this.  Have even discussed it with a few of my online friends.  It’s liberating to talk about the fat thing.  Kind of like “coming out” or something.  Just being candid about my feelings about being fat, rather than everyone politely being in denial about it.

I’m a little nervous because I have a high-profile conference coming up where I have a leading role as an organizer.  I will be very visible, even have to speak to the assembly every day.  The conference is in San Francisco where NO ONE is fat.  They actually have a security gate just for fat people at SFO; many are rejected.

Well, by this time next year, at next year’s conference… I should be at my goal weight.  That is the image that is comforting me.

Day Five

Today I felt a little weak, almost drained.  I just didn’t eat enough during the day.  Dinner turned out great and restored my energy, but it was a little uncomfortable.

I think I’ve turned the corner on quitting though.  I have begun “seeing” myself in the future.  Where I used to be disgusted when I saw my reflection in the mirror, I now tell myself, “You’re changing this; you’re doing something about this.”  I feel almost empowered.

Well, I’m tired.  Will try to write tomorrow.

Day Four

The day started out bad, as I had only lost a half pound, but in total I lost 8 pounds since I started getting ready to diet and starting the diet.  I’m writing this on day five and have decided not to weigh myself today.  Day four ended up being great in total.  I’m starting to enjoy cooking, believe it or not.  I have found several terrific web sites that have easy recipes with ingredients I have.  I haven’t started exercising yet, but will soon.  I’ve started downloading podcasts onto my iphone that I can listen to on the treadmill. 

I also received PastaQueen’s book and am loving it.  She’s very clever, authentic, and I love the fact that she works in my industry.  I’ve been following her on Twitter too.  It’s weird using Twitter in this way.  I feel like a groupie stalker.  There are many things I relate to in the book.  Among them is the conflict I feel over the fat acceptance blogs I have in my blog roll.  Fat discrimination is heinous, but I understand what she’s saying about the desire to lose weight and being snubbed by the Fat Acceptance community.  It’s a weird world.  

Yesterday, my daughter and I were watching some old home videos.  I saw myself on camera and can’t believe I’ve been this size for so long.  My brain just does not “see” my body image this way.  Unlike Pasta Queen, I was not morbidly obese all my life.  It started in my 30s.  But it’s been a very long time that I’ve looked this way.  

I’m thinking of starting a South Beach Diet social network in my town.  I think it might be fun to network with other people on the diet.  Plus, I could stand to make a few friends here.  We moved here over a year ago and I haven’t met many people.

Day Two

I got all the way thru day Two.  Hurray.  I gave up on the recipes, but stayed true to the foods listed in Phase One.  I can tell already I won’t do this for two weeks.  I’m thinking I’m just going to watch what I eat and start exercising.  It’s too stressful to try to stick to something prescribed right now.  I was really hungry and moody today.

I’ve been reading the fat acceptance blogs listed in my blog roll.  It’s great that there are resources online for overweight people to create community.  The discrimination I face professionally and personally is really disappointing.

C’est tout for today.  I’ll update in a few days.

Report on Day One

The South Beach diet book doesn’t make it clear that the daily recipes are just suggestions. This morning, after it took me over an hour to prepare and cook spinach quiche (Day 1 breakfast), I realized I was not going to be able to do this diet. I simply don’t have that much time for food preparation. I ended up cooking/preparing everything on the Day One menu, but felt disappointed that I wasn’t going to be able to continue.

Tonight, I looked at the book more closely, and it appears you can create your own recipes if you basically just stick to the Phase 1,2,3 guidelines. That was a relief. For phase 1, there is no bread, rice, potatos, pasta or sugars. Okay. I can deal with that for a couple weeks.

I feel good about starting out. My daughter is doing the diet with me, although I caught her eating goldfish in the afternoon (sheesh, teenagers). All-in-all a good first day. Will try to report tomorrow.

Tomorrow is Day One on SBD

My daughter came home today and is going to share the experience of the first 14 days on the South Beach diet with me.  The diet is taxing in its prescribed recipes, but we’re going to give it a go.  I’m a little anxious, frankly, but I will attempt to blog every day to express my thoughts.

Fingers crossed.